Self Worth

I want Connor to have self-worth, but how can you teach someone when you do not have it yourself.

I have been trying really hard not to let things bother me (Something I have not been able to conquer), but I have done a good job at pushing things aside at a specific moment. The only downfall is after all is said and done I dwell heavily on the words people have spoken which have made me dislike myself even more so.

I know that to gain self-worth is to first learn how to love yourself unconditionally. To accept who you are, the mistakes you have made and the flaws that you have. 

It is very difficult to love horrible things that you wish you could change about yourself.

Trying very hard to alter my thinking and make those horrible things/flaws/mistakes  into positive things, such as learning experiences and examples of things I personally need to work on.

I definitley struggle with words. Thoughts are easy, but speaking them out loud is another story. This is something I may never be able to change. It is something I have to learn to love unconditionally. I might be able to love this flaw unconditionally if I can focus on actions more than words. I might be able to pause and take a minute before answering before spitting out all of my thoughts into one big long sentence confusing others. 

I have often been called dumb, stupid, retarded, a rambler with no common sense. I know I am not these things, I just have not shown others the things that I am truly capable of. Although, if I have been all of these names/accusations at times I am still a good person at heart. So why do I let someone else's thoughts/words control my happiness. As if I am not in control of my own happiness? We ourselves are the only ones that control our happiness (I have been wrong to blame it on others).

I could be successful, with money to buy everything my family or I could ever dream of; but would I learn to love myself unconditionally because of money and success?  Success and money are not a guarantee. Your self-worth how you think of yourself is something that you will not loose. It is something I need to learn for my self so that I can teach my son. 

Focus on giving yourself to others and being a good person. This is what I want to dwell on and teach my Connor-boy. This is what I will focus on to build my self worth. After all giving yourself to others and being a good person is what Jesus showed all of us and what Christmas is all about!
Music--love yourself

utiful

Born This Way --Lady Gaga

 Amy Diamond--true colors